Over and Over and Over Again Love Someone Country Song
Beloved songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and well-nigh of our worst ideas.
Nothing good can come of this. Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout man history, oceans accept been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and great families have blossomed — all considering of a few simple chords and a tune that inflamed a eye and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other paw, that time you told that girl yous just started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? Y'all did that because of a beloved song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and motion back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."
"It'due south but, my mom. You know? And L.A. is so hot in the summertime. And yes, my mom." Photo via iStock.
That time y'all held that boom box over your caput outside your ex'southward house? You did that considering of a love song. And 50 hours of customs service after, yous're withal not back together.
Beloved songs are great. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to accept risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work.
They're amazing. So amazing. And as well terrible.
Here are 6 dear songs that sound romantic but aren't, and one song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
1. "God Only Knows," by The Embankment Boys
Y'all tin proceed your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."
When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where information technology'south at. A lush garden of soft horns and informal tune. A tie-dye swirl of audio. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the almost heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo past Hulton Archive/Getty Images.
Hither's why information technology sounds romantic:
I may not always love you
But long as in that location are stars above y'all
You never need to dubiousness it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without yous
If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your dearest and non playing "God But Knows" on your iPod, you should really finish and start over.
If y'all're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Simply Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the dorsum of your mind, you lot demand to rethink the choices that got you lot to this signal.
If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Simply Knows," you are doing it wrong.
Hippies, probable on their way to a mud frolic. Photo by Colin Davey/Getty Images.
It'due south a vocal that just feels like honey. Pure dearest. Young beloved. Dear with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
What could be wrong with that?
Here's why it's really really, really unromantic:
There'southward nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-acme notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their pilus as they autumn asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house, smoking a cigarette..." Photo by hatchettebookgroup.biz.
Merely at that place is such a matter as loving someone a skosh besides much.
If you lot should ever leave me
Though life would however get on believe me
The world could show nada to me
So what good would living practice me?
Look, I become it. Breakups suck. There's no getting around that. But good God.
There'southward a huge difference between saying: "Hey infant, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll exist bummed if you get." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, and then I'm only gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."
Simply that'due south pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...
God merely knows what I'd be without you lot
...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, plainly, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. We had a practiced run. Photo via iStock.
That's not love. That'south codependency (to put information technology mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a course of emotional abuse.
Investing all your happiness and sense of cocky-worth in whatsoever relationship — 1 that, by definition, might one day end — is putting a lot of eggs in ane handbasket. Certain, God may only know what you'd be without her, simply God probably too hopes you accept, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga form. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.
"Yeah! Hell yeah! What was her name once more?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.
One person cannot be anyone'south be-all and end-all. Information technology's too stressful. And information technology prevents you from doing y'all, which is a matter that'southward gotta exist done earlier yous tin do anything else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
ii. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars
Certain, it'south a breathy rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. But, nosotros don't accept Michael Jackson anymore, and equally tribute acts get, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Wait at that face. That face up! Photograph by Brothers Le/Flickr.
Here's why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you lot are
Honey, yous're my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you lot let me treasure yous
If you lot let me treasure you
Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-course make-out party and you'll probable get an instant toll laissez passer on the highway to tongue-boondocks (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, engagement night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of celibate-even so-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls you lot over for running a stop sign, and they will think y'all're weird — but probably still make out with you.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America considering of this song.
This is what happens when you write "Treasure" and you're on stage with Michelle Obama. Photo past Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'1000 OK with that.
Merely, here'southward why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:
Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes nigh gender.
"Children, accept I e'er told you lot what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time we met?" Photo by Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things start to become south right from the very beginning:
Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, infant
I gotta tell y'all a niggling something nigh yourself
Ah yep. Zip screams "respect" quite like a human being lecturing a foreign woman on the street near something she "doesn't know virtually herself."
What could it be? Could information technology be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction book most early modern German history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Cheers for educational activity me all well-nigh Martin Luther's bible!" Photo by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Eatables.
Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.
You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But yous walk around here similar you wanna be someone else
Oh. It's that she'due south sexy. Absurd, bro. Very original.
Give-and-take of advice? Regardless of how she'south walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-day and then much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout information technology at her (even over a funky disco snare).
So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd dear to be someone else! I recall beingness Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A proficient style to spend a three-24-hour interval weekend.
Certain, in that location'd be an aligning menses... Photo past Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images.
And and then later, of grade, the narrator can't help himself:
Pretty girl, pretty daughter, pretty girl, you should be smiling
A daughter like you should never look and then blue.
He respects her so much, he's actually direct-up telling her to grinning! Much like Mars' grapheme "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you lot know, I guess everybody'southward got a affair.
Yeah, in the earth of "Treasure," a good for you human relationship is an unending stream of a human being complimenting a strange adult female and said adult female being and so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."
He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the globe's creepiest pirate:
Yous are my treasure, you are my treasure
Y'all are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you lot, you are
Y'all are my treasure, you are my treasure
Yous are my treasure, yep, you, you, yous, you are
By this point, in his mind, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.
I suppose it could be worse, though. At to the lowest degree she's not just any matter.
GIF from "The Two Towers."
That'southward ... something, right?
3. "Don't Call up Twice, Information technology's All Correct," by Bob Dylan
For equally long equally humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Call up Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is proficient at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photograph by William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
Well, information technology ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Even you lot don't know by now
And it own't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Information technology'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the pause of dawn
Look out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm a-traveling on
But don't recollect twice, it'southward all correct.
Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits state of affairs like whoa.
"Don't Think Twice" is a raw song. An honest vocal. A powerful song. It'southward the song your older sister played on continuous loop for half dozen months after her beau left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her 4 Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chinkle shop in Mendocino. The vocal your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high schoolhouse band over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are y'all looking for?" Photo by Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Sure, it's nigh the end of a human relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the stop of the solar day, shouldn't that be plenty?
Here'due south why information technology's really sooooo messed upwards:
Relationships cease. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right way to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties tin certainly benefit from a difficult, honest give-and-take about what went incorrect.
Information technology's not me, Joan. It's you. 100% yous. Photograph by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Call up Twice," that discussion basically boils downward to: "It's your fault."
Let'southward review the reasons the dude in "Don't Call up Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my eye, but she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, correct? You're all like, "Babe, I merely have so much unspecified love to give," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "Merely baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she'due south like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to do is take out the trash." And you lot're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna get play guitar." And so she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you? UGH!
You could have done better, merely I don't mind
Yeah. Yous do listen! You mind! You wrote a song about it, y'all passive-aggressive prick.
You simply kinda wasted my precious time
Ah yes. Your time is so precious! Recall about all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when y'all could have been futzing around with that home-brew kit.
Yep, this was worth it. Photo by Bill Bradford/Flickr.
The minute you showtime breaking it downwards, the message of "Don't Think Twice" of a sudden starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and at present might be in jail. Like your aunt's wind chime shop, which would have airtight forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Similar your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying kid back up.
"You lot kids want a beer? No one's under thirteen, right?" Photograph via iStock.
Oh yeah, and the song's narrator also indicate-bare refers woman he's leaving as:
A child, I'grand told
That's correct. In improver to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he'south also possibly a pedophile.
Fifty-fifty if nosotros are to have that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which there'due south no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking upward with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may be the point.
four. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song nearly hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?
This guy. Photo by Hughes Telly Network/Wikimedia Eatables.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Airplane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were notwithstanding kind of new at the time it was written.
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
To a modernistic ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'grand a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a style that'due south somehow nonetheless folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summer army camp. Non like shooting fish in a barrel to practise!
Oh babe, I hate to go
You see — he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, considering he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner just that much?
Come across ya! Photo past Altair78/Wikimedia Eatables.
Why indeed?
Hither's why information technology'due south actually not that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the earth can but distract and then much from the fact that the song's master grapheme is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — information technology doesn't actually seem similar he hates being abroad all that much:
There'south so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a affair
"Infant, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were habitation nursing the quadruplets. All the times I tuckered our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex activity I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Actually fun. Similar, I had a fantastic fourth dimension. But rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"Equally empty as this bed I just finished having sex with someone else in." Photo via iStock.
Yes, when you break it down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he'due south "adept" despite all evidence to the contrary.
And for all he claims to be broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited most the flight. Oh, you lot're leaving on a jet plane, are yous? Are you Zone i? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo limited salad you were forced to choke down every bit you sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious run a risk?
"Life then hard @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photograph by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.
He continues:
Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you lot
Ah cool. He'll think about her while strumming and making "my love is fragile equally the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad pupil in the front row. That pretty much makes up for information technology all.
Then he demands:
And so kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you lot'll look for me
Later on all the expose and heartbreak, later on basically revealing himself to be a class-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to look? To wait for him?
And here'southward the kicker:
When I come back, I'll bring your hymeneals ring
Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Different all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family bank business relationship, and simply been a full general screwup and disappointment.
Merely yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a hymeneals band.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.
5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When y'all look up "soul" in the lexicon, the book plays you a recording of this song.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photograph by Gene Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, information technology plays you lot the very first line.
Here'south why information technology sound very romantic:
When a man loves a adult female
Certain, you can write the lyrics downwards, but it doesn't fifty-fifty come shut to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, delicious hurting-belting:
WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN
Closer ... but still no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Yep! Sing information technology, Percy Sledge!
It's an elemental lyric.
It's a centre-shattering lyric.
It's a lyric that demands y'all put your back into information technology.
It'southward perfection.
As long as you lot don't go along listening.
Hither's why the song is actually pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Homo Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.
Which raises the question: What happens when said human loves said woman?
He'd surrender all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that'due south the way
It ought to be.
Whoa! OK. No. Back upward. A human being, no thing how devoted, no matter how selfless, no affair how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.
Plow his back on his best friend if he put her down.
No! Jeez. No. A man can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A man needs friends! In one case a man's whole back up system erodes out from under him, a human will be bitter, ungrounded, and solitary. And a man's mental health will deteriorate.
I gave you everything I accept
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love
Baby, please don't treat me bad.
This is not what happens "when a man loves a woman." It's what happens when a man loves a decision-making, manipulative woman. An calumniating woman. A woman who, in truth, only loves a adult female. Herself.
"It's Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.
And that'south not healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! Nosotros're here for y'all.
(Side note: Lest information technology go unsaid, in that location is way more one mode for a man to love a adult female. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Mayhap they slumber in split bedrooms. Possibly they clothes up in large, plush true cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of commitment, living state of affairs, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no i-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There'due south more than one fashion to peel a cat. A spoonful of saccharide helps the medicine become down.
It doesn't thing if it's the right metaphor, as long as it'southward a metaphor. Photo past Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Indicate being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! Y'all can do this! And if you ever discover yourself in a similar state of affairs, please requite these people a call.
six. "All I Wanna Do is Brand Honey to You," Middle
Honestly, Heart could sing a listing of the most popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and information technology would make me desire to bawl my eyes out in the arms of a alpine, dark stranger at the stop of a pier.
This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you lot're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's just that important.
I am singing the phone book. Y'all are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
And then much passion. Then much pain. So much hair.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring tune, Center sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking upward an unnervingly attractive man for one dark of mind-blowing sex so releasing him dorsum into the wild to bone — but never quite as compellingly ever once again.
They sing:
It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Continuing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accustomed with a smile so we drove for a while
I don't have to become on because yous know what happens next, and it'southward awesome.
"I just sit in this motel. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photograph past Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
Now, hither's why this song is not romantic at all:
The human relationship in "All I Wanna Practise" seems likewise good to exist truthful. And it is. Considering it's not an equally loving ,or even every bit lusty, pairing at all.
Information technology's a...
It's a...
Well. Y'all know what information technology is:
Good at recognizing no-win situations and succulent with lemon?! Photo by Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are humming along just fine, similar any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:
I didn't ask him his proper name, this solitary boy in the rain
Fate, tell me it'due south correct, is this dearest at first sight?
Certain, many of us might hesitate to pick upwards a foreign leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the route for a no-strings-fastened screw, but our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, y'all gotta go with your gut.
I tin respect that.
We made magic that nighttime
He did everything correct
Great! Seems like information technology was a expert conclusion. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big fourth dimension.
But and so, without warning, the vocal starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more than like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:
I told him "I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, delight don't you lot dare
Just alive in my memory, you lot'll always be there"
I'k not a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," all of a sudden mean wildly unlike things in the context of human reproduction than they accept since sex activity was commencement invented in the early-1970s, we're talking nearly a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
Hello! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons.
Of grade, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. Yous might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:
And so it happened one day
We came round the same way
You tin imagine his surprise
When he saw his own eyes
There are 2 possibilities hither.
I: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York Urban center subway advertizement from nine years ago:
Photo past eyedonation.org.
Or two: She totally bamboozled a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.
I said, "Please, please understand
Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.
I'thou in love with some other homo
Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked non one but two lives.
And what he couldn't requite me, oh, no
Was the i little thing that y'all can"
A HUMAN LIFE! A REAL SENTIENT Man LIFE THAT IS NOT INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The best yous tin say about that is that it'south not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should take been responsible for his ain birth control. Or, at the very to the lowest degree, asked more than questions .
But ... it's not cute. It's not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves agree).
And at the stop of the mean solar day, the shadiest character in this vocal is somehow non the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the dark.
Which... is proverb something.
Merely there is a honey song that is truly, madly, securely perfect. An unassailable track in a bounding main of problematic faves.
A song that does everything right.
A vocal that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership congenital to last.
A song that tin can double as a manual for the platonic human romantic human relationship.
And that song is...
"Candy Shop," by fifty Cent, featuring Olivia
Here's why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:
fifty Cent (50) and that guy. Yous know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
As tricky as "Candy Shop" is, every bit fun it is to dance to, and equally cathartic as it can exist to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at two a.thousand., at that place's no getting around the fact that the vocal begins like this:
I'll have you lot to the candy store
I'll let yous lick the lollipop
I'll post that again, in case you missed some of the nuance:
I'll accept you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Way to take one for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!
At first glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody'south thought of a classic love song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda bones. The claw is similar the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
Information technology doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Similar watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Burn down" on your new Xbox 360.
It's not a song yous'd put on a mixtape for your crush. Information technology's non a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and yous've got nine hours to tear upwardly the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage yous made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.
It'southward simply not.
Just information technology should be.
So here it is. Hither's why "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:
You wanna back that affair up or should I push upward on it? Photo by ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. Information technology's simply been 20 seconds, and you lot're already getting ready to hang it upwards with "Candy Shop."
But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the form of a female vocalization joining the rails, cut through the din like a clarion call.
She sings:
I'll take you to the processed shop (yeah)
Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll accept y'all spendin' all you got (come on)
Continue going 'til you striking the spot, whoa
It'south mutual! Information technology's common! They're performing oral sexual practice on each other!
Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!
Go, cunnilingus doves, go! Photograph by liz due west/Flickr.
l Cent himself may non be the world'southward greatest partner — for example, according to 1 of his exes, he'southward done some pretty unforgivable things.
Just the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:
You could have it your way, how do you desire it?
Rather than merely imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Simply Knows ("I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in y'all!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to care for you lot like a chest full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Dearest to Y'all," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me upwards!") — the "Candy Store" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the earth of popular music, is good for about 50,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?
It's whatever y'all're into
'Crusade consent is sexy!
I own't finished pedagogy you 'tour how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Candy Store" is certainly ... assertive nigh his desires.
But here'southward the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into information technology. And we know this because she says so.
The lines of consent in "Candy Store" are vivid ruby-red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky order floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photograph past Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.
Girl what we exercise ...
And where nosotros practise ...
The things we do ...
Are just betwixt me and you
No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate. It will be individual. There will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you lot exist a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is cardinal to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Candy Store") minutes long.
She may take a loftier sex drive, just dude is graciously offering to arrange her. What a admirer! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.
And at the end of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?
Thanks, Obamacare! Photo by Wonderlane/Flickr.
It's like it's a race who could become undressed quicker
Again, everybody is having a bully time. And, critically, an equally bang-up fourth dimension.
I touch the right spot at the right fourth dimension
Of course, information technology wouldn't be a popular/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, simply if we're to take him at his word, "Candy Store" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" every bit the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Processed Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he'south not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering honey god. He's a skillful partner.
"Candy Shop" is raunchy. It's muddied. It's not your grandmother's love song.
But when you lot strip away the swagger, the back shell, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," past the finish of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all nigh?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
So seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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